Being alone

This time of year I have a lot of students come in for counseling because they are struggling with being alone.  Its hard with Valentine’s Day coming up to feel confident about being single.  Some of my students are Seniors and are looking at huge transition coming up in the next year.  They know intellectually that this isn’t the best time to start a relationship, but yet emotionally still really want to find someone.  On college campuses it also makes it harder because you see couples together all the time eating lunch, walking across campus, sitting in the lounge in the dorm.  I tell my students all the time to let themselves feel sad.  Its okay to not be happy sometimes.  I also encourage them to do things for themselves that comfort them or distract them for a little while.  That could mean reading a book, watching tv, going out with friends, spending time on Facebook or other internet sites, going out to eat, or playing sports.  Do something positive and relaxing to reward yourself at times.

Some people don’t mind being alone.  They don’t feel lonely.  This is great.  For those who do feel lonely or left out.  Take some time to think about what you could do in the meantime before you meet someone.  I know I worked on being more positive and not being so moody.  There are areas of your life that you can take control of and do things with.  Try not to focus so much on the things you can’t control.  If you have social anxiety, see a counselor that can help you get past some of your fears so you can go out and meet new people.

Don’t let this Valentine’s Day dictate how you feel about yourself.  Take care of you and figure out how to be the best person you can be so you’ll be ready when the right person comes around.

One comment on “Being alone

  1. I really like this “Don’t let this Valentine’s Day dictate how you feel about yourself”. It’s so true. There is so much pressure in our society to be a certain way. On valentine’s day, Facebook felt almost like a competition of who got the biggest flowers. It’s important to remind ourselves of how wonderful we are regardless of our relationship status.

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