It seems almost every day I talk with someone who is going through a break-up. Or considering breaking up with someone. Its a very hard thing to go through. Its hard to lose someone that you have spent so much time with and knows so much about you.
For my students that aren’t sure if they should stay in a relationship, I usually tell them they will know for sure at some point. Either things get better and stay better which is great. Or they continue to get worse until you pass a point of no return. I’ll talk to someone for months who isn’t sure what to do and then one day they will come in and say they are done. Its a like a light switch going on. Its a freeing feeling to be in that decisive moment.
On the other end, it sucks to be dumped. Sometimes its very hard to let go. Many students tell of embarrassing things they did to try to get the person back. I think most of us who have been broken up with go through that. Its like a right of passage. The only thing I can say is keep trying to move forward. If that person one day wants you back and you still want them…great. If you’ve been moving forward and find yourself happy and then that person one day comes back, then you reject that offer…great. If you move on and one day find happiness and that person never comes back…great. So moving forward is the key, because one day, no matter what happens, you will be fine again. For some people this takes a few weeks, for others a few months and yet still others, a few years. I wish time would move faster instead of slowing down when we are in pain, but so far, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Just let yourself feel the pain when you need to and distract yourself and pretend your fine, when you need to do that as well. Both are healthy in small doses. Hopefully you will be smarter and stronger at the end. Hang in there…this too shall pass. But in the meantime, either cry, eat some chocolate, or talk to a good friend to get you through it.