Being a good friend even when it’s hard

That sucks.  That’s what I say to someone who has been through a breakup and is now feeling sad and alone.  Not all single people are sad and alone, but it is a hard transition to go from being a couple to being single.  That is why many people will stay in bad relationships rather than be alone.  So when someone breaks up with you and you don’t have a choice to be alone, it can be devastating.

What else can you do for someone who is hurting?  Sometimes I just ask what they need from me.  Sometimes its only a hug and shoulder to cry on.  Sometimes they just need me to listen and not give advice.  Sometimes they just want validation that its okay to be upset, angry, sad, disappointed, lost, rejected, confused, or embarrassed.  Its hard to be there for someone when they are sad.  There is no RIGHT thing to say.  Everyone is different.  Sometimes people want to be cheered up or distracted.  Friends are great for that.  But sometimes its just nice to have someone that lets you feel like crap when you need to feel like crap.

Its also good to realize that your friend may not be ready to move on.  They may still want the person back, even if you think that is a bad idea.  Its hard to be supportive if you don’t agree.  Try to be understanding of where they are coming from and that it will take some time for their emotions to catch up to what you, on the outside, already know.  Its harder when its happening to you to just accept reality and move forward.  Being supportive means being quiet sometimes and letting your friend process whatever emotions they may have.  If you think they may need someone else to talk to, suggest they see a counselor for more help.  Most universities have counseling centers that offer free counseling to students.

I’ve said this before, break ups suck, but being a good friend could make them suck a little less.

I would love to hear what you think about this post or about my blog in general. Also, feel free to leave any suggestions or ideas for new posts in the future! Thanks!

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