Single and…Happy?

Really?  Is it possible to be single and happy at the same time?  I know you doubt me, but it can be true.  Sure, its easy to be single and unhappy, but there are people out there flying solo just fine.

Why does being single get a bad rap?  Maybe because it feels like you are in a holding pattern, waiting to find someone who wants to be with you.   A lot of single people feel forced into single life.  It is hard to not know how long you have to be in this state of existence.  Everywhere you go you are on the look out for a potential mate so you can change your Facebook status to “In a Relationship”.  It is hard to be content and happy if you want to be somewhere different than where you are.

I found when I was single that it was frustrating at times.  I looked at married couples and thought, they have what they want already.  They made a decision to be together and can now relax.  I was even jealous at times of priests and nuns.  They made a permanent vow to God.  They could now live out the life they wanted to live.  I felt being single was like being in limbo.  I was just waiting to find and choose the right person.  There were times I would choose to stay single for a certain period for various reasons, but there was never a point that I told myself I wanted to be single forever.  It was hard to not know when my life would make that turn.

So how can people be single and happy?  Its a little like living in the moment.  I figured out that you can’t always worry about what is ahead.  Even being married, my life could change in a moment if my husband was killed in a car accident or came home one day and asked for a divorce.  Nothing is really permanent in this world.  So if your lot in life at this moment is to be unattached why not make the best of it?

This is the time of your life when you can focus solely on yourself.  Take control of the things you do have in your power to change.  Make time to do the things that truly make you happy.  Find hobbies and interests that you enjoy and spend time doing them on a regular basis.  A lot of people are so wrapped up in other people they never really consider what really makes them happy.   Play a club sport or join a book club.  Get involved at your church or volunteer at your favorite charity.

Make quality friendships and invest your time and energy into them.  Take time for your family and be happy that you get to spend all your holidays with them for now.  Adopt an animal and pour your love into taking care of it.  Spend time focusing on school and your grades.  Get involved with different organizations on your campus so you can meet new people.  If you have a job, you may want to take an extra shift on a weekend to make some extra money.  You can then spend all day shopping  to reward yourself for your hard work.  Do things for yourself that make you feel loved.  So many people wait for others to love them that they never learn to love themselves.   If you tend to be down on yourself all the time, find ways to build yourself up and appreciate the things in your life today.

Everyone desires at times to be taken care of.  Its nice to relax and let someone else take over, but it is a invaluable skill to be able to take care of yourself.  Learn to be independent and self sufficient.  Be proud of yourself for being able to change your own flat tire, or for paying your own bills on time, or for cooking your own dinner.   As my grandma used to say, “Might as well make yourself useful while you’re waiting”.   And while your at it, have some fun too!  If you can find a way to be happy and love yourself, you will make it easier to for someone else to love you too.  It won’t guarantee that you will find that person.  Some people do remain single forever, but it does guarantee that your life won’t be miserable and boring no matter what happens.

I would love to hear what you think about this post or about my blog in general. Also, feel free to leave any suggestions or ideas for new posts in the future! Thanks!

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