Will I ever find “The One”?

Is there such a thing as “the one”????  The ONE person who totally gets you and is your soul mate until death do you part.  Maybe there could be more than one???

I am married, so do I think I found “the one”?   I believe I found a person that gets me on several levels, and I’m very blessed.  But was he the only one I could have married in this world and been happy with?  Probably not.   I believe its possible that there are other men out there that I could find a connection to.  It is hard for me to believe that there is only one person in the whole world that is a match for me.  My luck, my one person would be married to the wrong person and not believe in divorce.  So luckily, I believe that there several people that we may meet in life that have lots of potential to make us happy.

I also believe some people I’ve met that have that great connection with me are the same sex.  I wasn’t meant to marry them since I’m heterosexual, but they have a huge impact on my life and are great friends of mine.  There are lots of people we just seem to have an instant connection with that is hard to describe.  Some are in my family.  My grandma and I had this crazy connection since I was born.  She just always understood me so well.

There are a few people who just seem to get you.  And even though I believe it is a few, not just one, it isn’t always easy to find these people.  It is hard to watch some people meet someone when they are 10 years old and they go on to marry each other and live happily ever after.  So at age 22 you may be thinking where the hell are these people?  You may have met someone that you totally connected with but they broke up with you, you may have met someone but they are already dating someone else, you may have met someone but they moved half way across the country, or maybe you may have met someone but they are 28 years older than you.  The sucky thing is meeting a person that you totally connect with but for some reason, life is keeping you apart.  That is why I believe there is more than one person for you out there.  Sometimes you go on to meet a new person that you connect with  more  or in different ways and are grateful things didn’t work out with that first person.

You can feel connected sexually, emotionally, spiritually, recreationally, intellectually, or in a more concrete, doing work together kind of way to another person.  It is almost impossible to find someone you can connect to on every level.  I believe this is why cheating happens so often.  Be aware that if you find someone that you connect with sexually, emotionally and recreationally and that seems to satisfy you, you may find yourself attracted to someone in the future you gets your spiritual side or your intellectual side.  If you have already made a choice to be in a relationship, be careful about the boundaries you set with this new person if they are the opposite sex.  No one can fulfill all of your needs.  You may find other people attractive and you have to be on guard against developing feelings for those other people.  That is why it is good to have same sex friends or family members who may be able to fulfill some of those other needs that you have.

It is also good to know what you value the most.  Some things may be more important to you than others.  Some people value a spiritual connection above other things, some people value a sexual or intellectual connection the most.  If you can find someone who has three or more connections with you then you are very blessed person for sure!

You may be thinking, I can’t find one person to connect to and you are talking about finding multiple people.  I realize, you may not have found even one person who gets you yet.  The hard thing is finding someone who is just as into you as you are into them.  It seems unrequited love is out there more often then we would like.  I’m just letting you know that I believe there is more than one person out there who can get you on several levels.  I also believe that no one can get you on every level and to be aware of the danger of finding another person who connects on that level you are missing in your current relationship.  I also want to remind people that this world isn’t fair and crap happens.  We could meet someone and they die a few months or years into the relationship.  Or something else happens to keep you apart from this person you love.  That is why I believe that maybe just maybe, there is more than ONE person out there for you.  My hope is that you will appreciate it when you do find it.  Good luck!

8 comments on “Will I ever find “The One”?

  1. I was alone most of my younger life. This wasn’t because I was unattractive to the opposite sex, but because I never felt “right” with anyone I knew. I didn’t want to casually date. I wanted to be with someone I envisioned possibly being with forever. At 12, 16, and even 20, no one seemed to want this yet.

    Instead of forcing anything, I remained single and honest. Then I noticed my close friend of 3 years in a new light. In about a year’s time, I knew I wanted to date him. He’d also wanted to date me for the past 3 years, so the moment I told him my feelings, we were a couple.

    Because we had been friends for the past 3 years, we already knew each other quite well. However, we’ve learned a whole lot more now that we’re together. We are a couple who actually do connect on every single level, and I never once thought it possible, just as you said. I don’t think this can possibly happen to everyone, and have no idea how he or I found it. Sexually—both of us have only been with each other, and like it that way; emotionally—our morals and values are the same (raised the same way by our parents); spiritually—open to all religions on a path toward love; recreationally—outdoor activities such as hiking, biking, and walking; intellectually—we’re both in college, learning great material in which we like to discuss; or in a more concrete, doing work together kind of way—we have two courses together this term, and also live together, and we love each other’s company.

    I agree one hundred percent that there is more than one person out there for you, and that this one person can’t fulfill every need, but I also know for a fact that if my boyfriend were to not be in my life anymore, I would be missing out on being with the damn nearest perfect person for me I could’ve ever imagined.

    • Thanks for the great comment. It is great to finally find someone that you know is right for you. I hope you and your boyfriend go on to have a great life together!! I also hope others out there reading this continue to have hope even if they have lost someone or haven’t found someone yet. You never know what could be waiting for you around the next corner. I was 33 when I met my husband, so I know how hard it is to wait and not know when it will happen, but it is definitely worth it to never give up hope.

  2. I agree with a lot of what is said in this post! I have never really been into that “the one” thing because you meet so many people in this life and you could easily connect with more than just that one person. Someone could even put you on a totally different level than the person that you THINK is “the one”

  3. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again.

    Anyhow, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

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