Up until my mid-twenties most of my friends were single. I loved that time of my life because I always had someone to talk to and hang out with. We usually went out as a group and had a lot of fun. Then around the same time, a lot of them started getting into serious relationships. A few even got engaged and married within a year. All of the sudden my social world shrank and I was feeling a little lonely. My friends thought it would be fun to find me a husband as well. They did their match making thing because wanted everyone else, including me to be as happy as them. They would tell me about this PERFECT guy they wanted me to meet because we had like ONE thing in common. I was not a fan of being set up on blind dates at this time. I felt intimidated and pressured by the whole thing. I can look back now and see that I was kind of rebellious against my friends setting me up because I really wasn’t ready to be married yet. I sabotaged it from the beginning. Needless to say, I didn’t find my perfect match by being set up on blind dates and continued to be single for a while.
It’s hard to be content as a single person when everyone around you is pushing you to find someone to be with. I didn’t mind dating so much, it was just what it meant to other people around me. I felt the pressure to not just date and have a good time, but to find a husband. I guess this is why I resented being set up on blind dates. When my friends abandoned me for marriage and having babies, I had to find other ways to have fun. I finally came to the conclusion that dating didn’t equal marriage. I decided I could just date to have fun. I wasn’t ready to settle down, but that didn’t mean I had to sit home alone and do nothing until I was ready.
That is when I decided to try online dating. This, to me, is another form of a blind date. Usually people don’t look like the pictures they post or act like the people they portray in their bios. So, it was always a crap shoot on who I would actually meet on the actual date. However, this kind of blind dating I preferred because it was my own choice whether or not I wanted to meet the person. I went through quite a few guys before meeting anyone worthy of a second date, but it was fun anyway. I would get excited to start chatting with someone new online. Then if they didn’t seem too crazy I would start texting them or talking to them on the phone. I really didn’t mind if it didn’t work out because there were plenty more guys to find online. If they passed the phone test, then I would actually meet them out in the real world. Like I said, most of the time it didn’t work out, but then I would just move on to the next.
I think what made it so fun was taking the pressure off myself to find someone to marry. I realized it can be fun to just go out and meet new people. I didn’t have to be all methodical about waiting until I thought he was the “one” to go on the first date. I didn’t need to be married by a certain age or have babies before I was 30, so I didn’t worry about a time line. I would take breaks from going online and just hang out with my friends who by now wanted some time away from their husbands. My friends stopped pressuring me and saw that I was happy being on my own. They liked hearing my adventures in online dating and the stories about some of the crazier people I talked to. I did eventually meet a really great guy and finally decided to get into a serious relationship. I can confirm that blind dates can work out in the end.
However, the moral of the story is to just have fun. Decide not to date if that is where you are at right now. Go online or have your friends set you up if you are ready to make the leap into the dating world. Make sure you are dating for the right reason…because it is what YOU want, not what everyone else wants. Also, remember that a date does not have to equal marriage. Your end goal may be to find someone to marry someday, but remember that you don’t have to wait to go on a date until you’ve confirmed that the person is definitely marriage material. You can go out with different people and have fun in the process of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. Maybe you just want to meet someone to date a couple of times or have sex with before moving on to someone else. Be confident about yourself, and remember dating is all just a process of learning what you do and don’t want in someone more permanent. It’s all about possibilities. So don’t hold yourself back and or lock yourself into one type of dating. Be open to the blind date and see what happens next…