What is it about getting away with something that makes it so fun? Is it that we feel powerful or in control? Is it because it makes us feel smarter? Or is it because of the challenge? Something about taking a risk gets our blood pumping. For whatever reason, I believe having sex when you aren’t supposed to makes it that more dangerous which makes it that much more of a turn-on.
When something feels forbidden, it seems more alluring to us. People also do this with food. The things they tell themselves they shouldn’t eat are the things they sneak when no one else is looking, but feel guilty about it later. People hate to be told they can’t have something. If there is someone they know they shouldn’t have sex with, now that person is the only thing they can think about. Lots of people report that doing something on the sly and sneaking around makes for some really hot sex. This is why a lot of times an affair can be an illusion. It isn’t based on reality. A lot of people will argue and state that a lot of people are now dating someone they cheated on their ex with. I agree, sometimes, people are in the wrong relationship to begin with when they meet a great person. Instead of breaking up with the wrong person first, they cheat. After a certain amount of time or after getting caught they finally leave one relationship and move on the next. However, most of the time, this is not the case.
The illusion of sexual chemistry while having an affair can fade if the relationship becomes real. Once you no longer have to sneak around to see each other, the sex can lose its edge. You may find many other faults with this person you didn’t see while you were sneaking around. A lot of people report cheating again because they want to capture that feeling of having illicit sex. Having sex with someone they are in an actual relationship with just doesn’t measure up to the sex they have when there is an element of risk and the danger of getting caught is involved. Some people even become addicted to this type of sex and are never satisfied in a normal sexual relationship.
Most of the time I hear stories about people who are in love with their partner but are still tempted to cheat. They meet someone they have sexual chemistry with and can’t let it go. Stolen glances, touches and kisses lead up to a lot of built up sexual tension. It is something about sneaking those glances, touches and kisses that make a person want even more. They’ve gotten away with it so far. The challenge can be too much for some people to walk away from. They may have a great sex life with their current partner but still be turned-on by the sneakiness of the situation with another person.
I also truly believe most people think they are smart enough to get away with cheating. They think they won’t get caught and their egos tell them what they are doing is okay because no one is going to get hurt. For a while most people do get away with it because their partner is unsuspecting. However, over time mistakes get made and once your partner becomes suspicious, it is really easy for them to catch you in a lie. Technology these days makes it easier to cheat, but it also makes it easier to get caught. There are ways of finding proof of an affair that never existed before. Emails and texts can be tracked and brought back even after being erased if you have the right resources.
The risk may not be worth it. If you have a great relationship, don’t let the temptation to get away with something draw you away. Many people report having regrets after they cheated and got caught. They admit they were caught up in the moment and weren’t considering the consequences. Most people admit wanting to work things out in their current relationship and don’t leave their relationship for the person they cheated on with. The element of sneaking around may heighten the sexual experience but most people will say it isn’t worth it once they have to deal with the fall out of their actions. It may be wiser to find other ways to spice up your sex life with your current partner. Find ways to make it fun and daring without having to step outside of the relationship. Have sex outside or in a semi-public place. Bring in different sex toys if you need a change. There are ways to challenge yourself and take risks with sex without having to cheat. Try being more creative and not falling for the easiest mind trick in the book which is always wanting what you can’t have.