Out of Nowhere

Well its Friday again.  Maybe you’ve decided to stay in and just chill tonight because you have a big night out with friends planned for Saturday.  You’re sitting in front of your DVR watching a Jersey Shore Marathon with some pizza, ice cream and your favorite drink of choice.  It’s turning out to be a very relaxing evening at home without roommates or other people to bother you.  You’re thinking about what you want to wear on your night out tomorrow when all of a sudden your phone chimes that you have a new text.  You have this weird feeling in your gut and looking at your phone confirms it.  I guess it’s about that time.  Its been a few weeks since you’ve heard from your ex and now here they are again texting you out of nowhere.

What to do now?  You were feeling relaxed and happy and now all of a sudden you feel anxious, thrilled, angry, doubtful and a little horny.  Do you dare text back?  You know where this path will lead.  It seems innocent at first.  They are only texting you to ask you “What’s up?”  However, you are only one text away from “I miss you.  It would be great to see you again”.  There is always that one ex who takes joy in confusing the hell out of you.  It is like they are psychic.  They somehow know you’re about to move on, so they pop back in just in time to put doubt in your head.

Some people are so easy to walk away from.  You don’t look back and it’s easy to block them from your phone, email and Facebook page.  Then there are the ones who just won’t leave your head or your heart.  Some people call them, “The one that got away”.  This person is dangerous.  They still have some power over you.  They know what to say to get you to break down and they’ll use those phrases mercilessly.  On the positive side, it means they are still thinking about you too.  On the negative side, they may only text you because they know they can get to you easier than anyone else in their contact list.  Your mind starts to flash back to your break-up and warns you to go back to your regularly scheduled night of reality tv.  Your heart flashes back instead to all those great times together and tricks you into thinking that a little attention from the ex never hurt anyone.

If you haven’t gone through this scenario enough times to convince you that this is only going to lead to a big let down, you will probably text back.  It doesn’t take much to light that little spark of hope you still have in your heart for this person.  You may invite them over to finish off your pizza with you and end up sleeping with them only to have all your texts the next few days go unanswered.  Its frustrating and humiliating.  That anger will carry you for a while and it feels good to be angry again.  However, the anger always subsides.  You start to move on only to get that text once again.  At some point either this person will grow up and have a real relationship with you (this is like a 2% chance)  or this person finally moves on to someone else and leaves you in peace (more like a 23% chance) or you will finally be glad that this one “got away”  and not text back (75% chance).

Most of us go through this crazy cycle with someone at some point in our lives.  Those that find that great person at 15, marry them at 24, and live a happy life with one another are very lucky and rare indeed.  If this above scenario describes you, don’t feel too bad.  You are in very good company.  I’ve said many times on here that the heart is strong, but not very smart.  It can take a lot of abuse before finally getting the message that your head received a long time ago.  We all live and learn in our own way.  I just hope if you are going through a break-up that you get to the point where you can delete that text and go back to pizza and Jersey Shore without missing a beat very soon!!!  I wish I could fast forward time for you to when this will be easier if you are going through it.  I only know there is no fast way to go through the stupid emotional part of a break-up to get to the smart logical side of moving on.  So don’t beat yourself up too much.  The day will come when you will be stronger.  Until then, maybe turn off your phone while you are having a quiet night at home alone, or surround yourself with people who will take over your phone for you when you do receive those crazy “I miss you so much” texts.  If that doesn’t work, just remember that you can only take so many punches before you’re out for the count.  Which in this case, is a good thing!

I would love to hear what you think about this post or about my blog in general. Also, feel free to leave any suggestions or ideas for new posts in the future! Thanks!

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