It’s that time of year again. Time to pack up the old Honda Civic and head back to college. For many students this is their first year of college. Many of those freshman may think college is a sexual free for all. The sad thing is that thought isn’t far off the mark. College is a time when a lot of students experience freedom for the first time. No curfews and no one to check in with. So many new co-eds walking around campus. It isn’t hard to see why hooking up is the norm. Unfortunately, hooking up without being smart can lead to huge problems. Here are a few things your mama may not have told you that you should think about before getting naked with the guy or girl you passed in the quad.
1. STI’s! Yes, they do exist on college campuses. Just because the person looks hot and healthy doesn’t mean they are. Many students end up with an STI (sexually transmitted infection) because they assumed their partner was clean. The fact is that many people don’t even know they have an STI unless they are tested because many infections don’t have any symptoms. Your mom may have told you to use a condom, but even she may not be aware of how prevalent STI’s are on college campuses. If she did, she may have kept you at home! Always, always use a condom!! Also, get tested every six months and especially after having unprotected sex! Another thing to remember, other forms of birth control don’t prevent STI’s. Some people think they don’t need to use a condom because they are on the pill. This will keep you from getting pregnant, but won’t prevent an STI. Don’t get lazy just because you’re already preventing pregnancy. You still need a condom!
2. Oral sex is sex! I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that someone is a virgin, yet they have been having oral sex. Guess what? This is sexual activity that doesn’t exactly make you innocent. You can also get STI’s from having oral sex. Many doctors are reporting that students are showing up with STI infections in their throats. Not fun! I’m sure your mom didn’t mention using a dental dam or a condom while having oral sex. You need a barrier between you and your partner’s sex organs if you want to have safer sex. And swapping sexual fluids during oral sex can lead to a sexually transmitted infection.
3. Anal sex is sex! I’ve also been told some people want to remain a virgin but still please their partner so they have anal sex. Guess what? Same thing as above! Actually anal sex is more prone to STI’s because you are more likely to tear during anal sex which lets potentially contaminated fluid into your blood stream. Unless you are homosexual, and your mom knows you are homosexual, I’m sure she probably didn’t discuss anal sex with you. If you are homosexual, these last two points are definitely directed at you! Use a condom while having anal sex and a condom or dental dam while having oral sex. Remember that some STI’s are not curable and it only takes one time to become infected!
4. Be confident! So many people get all uptight about their weight or how they look while having sex. You aren’t performing in front of a million people in a porn film. This is just you and your partner. If you can’t feel comfortable with them, then maybe you should think twice about having sex. Your mom may have told you to only have sex when you are in love and in a committed relationship. Being realistic for a second, I know sex may not always be about love, but it should be about pleasure. Your pleasure, not just your partner’s. Remember that no one looks good having sex, so try to forget about sucking in your stomach, and just go with it. If this isn’t easy for you, it is okay to wait for someone you are more committed to and relaxed around to engage in sex. For you women out there, I’ve heard many guys tell me they would rather have their girlfriend gain ten pounds and have fun while having sex than to lose weight and still be self-conscious during sex. Confidence is the key, not a perfect body!
5. Ask for what you want! The last point leads to this one. In order to have fun, you should be able to verbalize what you like. It isn’t a slam to your partner that they can’t read your mind. Everyone is different and may be turned on by different things. Don’t be offended if your partner asks you to do something different than what you are used to. It doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. Take your partner’s suggestion and use it to make them happy. Then speak up for yourself as well! Your mom may not have mentioned that it is okay to ask for what you want in bed, but trust me, it is the mature way to go! If you aren’t sure about what you want, then this is the time to explore and see what works right and what doesn’t. If you try something and don’t like it, you don’t have to do it that way again.
6. Know yourself! No two people are alike. Don’t compare yourself to someone else. Some people can have several sex partners and feel confident and good about themselves. Other people would feel ashamed by the same number. You have to decide what is okay for you. Just because your roommate or best friend is hooking up constantly doesn’t mean that is the right choice for you. If you know you are the type of person who wants to wait, then don’t feel ashamed about it. There are a lot of students who aren’t having sex in college, even if that seems improbable to you. Whatever you decide, be happy about the decision and always know that you can change your mind about what you want in the future. Your mom may have covered this one, but I thought it was worth repeating.
Now that I’ve told you things your mom may have neglected to tell you before you left for college, you can go out, have fun and be safe!