It’s Saturday morning or maybe afternoon. You wake up and look at your phone. Then you start to freak out as you read your texts from the night before. You know you’ve done it! Then afterwards you swear to yourself that it will never happen again. But like Katie Perry sings, “Next Friday night…do it all again!”
So, are you really doomed every weekend to text something you regret at 2am? Let’s just say that not a lot of good things happen at 2am with your phone unfortunately. Even if you haven’t been drinking or engaging in extracurricular activities, your guard is down when you’re tired. The judgment part of your brain that usually tells you to stop before doing something stupid isn’t at its peak after a certain time at night. When you stay up late because your bored, studying, or even partying, it makes you vulnerable to those thoughts and feelings you’ve been able to keep under control the rest of the day.
How many of you text your ex in the early afternoon because you miss them and want to hook up for a few hours? I’m guessing very few. How many of you text your ex after at 11pm, midnight, or 1am to see if they’re awake and want to hook up? I’m guessing a few more hands went into the air. You may think alcohol gives you the liquid courage you needed to take a risk. But, in reality the alcohol, or even just being over tired, is what shuts down the part of your brain that thinks through the possible consequences of your actions. It is only when you wake up the next day that your brain remembers why you should delete that person’s number from your phone.
Even if you didn’t actually hook up, you still sent a text that you now wish you could suck back through cyber space. It’s now out there that you are still thinking about this person. Maybe you feel embarrassed or mad at yourself for giving your ex or some other idiot an ego boost. You know when you get a drunk text there is a part of you that feels good. It can be offensive or annoying, but it can also feel empowering. This is why on the other end the person is cringing the next day. It sucks to show vulnerability. All I can say is that you are not alone.
It is common to have those weak moments. The lyrics of the song, One More Night by Maroon 5, say it better than I can. “Trying to tell you “no” but my body keeps on telling you “yes”. Trying to tell you to stop, but your lipstick got me so out of breath. I’d be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself. And I’d be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell. But baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you. Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go. Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo. And now I’m feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you. So I cross my heart and I hope to die. That I’ll only stay with you one more night. And I know I said it a million times. But I’ll only stay with you one more night.”
Either Adam Levine has sent one of those texts or he knows someone who has. How do you think one more night starts? With a text late at night!! So how do you solve this problem? Flush your phone down the toilet?? Probably not. There really is no easy way to stop being stupid with your phone if you feel tired, lonely or just plain horny. Unfortunately, your phone, with all its cool capabilities, isn’t always your friend. Also, be aware that life is full of mistakes. Usually humans need to put themselves in a lot of pain or have to feel a lot of fear to change a behavior. If you make too many mistakes with your phone, you hopefully start to feel some pain from embarrassment or become afraid of losing something else you value (like a current relationship). Once you’ve reached a certain pain threshold, then even liquid courage isn’t going to coerce you to send a text you’ll later regret.
Not all late night texts are going to be painful. Some might even be cute or hilarious. However, if they are painful or get you into trouble, then hope that memory will help stop you in the future. No one likes it, but pain is a good reminder of what NOT to do. If something hurts, you most likely will try to avoid it in the future. If you keep repeating something, either it hasn’t been painful enough or too much time has gone by and the pain has faded away. At some point though, it will get easier to have more control over your phone. Until then, don’t be too hard on yourself okay?