The Evolution of “Love”

How we relate and express our feelings changes as we get older.  How you show someone you love them also evolves with time:             

1. “I’m mean to you because I like you”              

Elementary School…those were the good old days.  Back when boys would throw worms in your hair on the playground because they thought you were cute.  Girls would talk about you behind your back because they secretly wanted your attention.

2. “Do you want to go out with me?  Circle Yes or No”

Middle School and Junior High…good times!  When you shoved a note into the locker of the one you had a crush on.  Too embarrassed to ask them out in person.  Those first kisses, holding hands and having everyone stare at the two of you at school dances.  Knee deep in puberty and not really having a clue about what you were doing.

3.  “I want to break up with you”

Ah, high school…so close, yet so far away.  Jealousy and insecurity lead to tears, drama and break up texts.  The term “I hate you, don’t leave me” rings too true.  Hate is very close to love and usually relationships in high school can travel between those two emotions at the speed of light.  Throw sex into the mix and the drama only escalates.  Aren’t you glad those days are over???

4.  “Wanna hook up?”

College…here you are, all mature in the relationship realm, right?  Okay, there is a learning curve…You may break up in a more mature way, but then the drunk texts for sex with your ex just mess it all up.  Plus, college is supposed to be a time of fun.  Many students forgo the long-term relationship for the casual hook up.  No labels, except maybe “Friends With Benefits”.  So the sex and drama continues, but luckily at the end of the four years you may feel like you know yourself and what you want so much more.

5.  Want to move in together?

After college…in a financial bind it may be smart to move in with your significant other.  It is a bigger commitment and sharing adult responsibilities like paying rent and utilities can create a different kind of bond.  Some of you may have had more serious relationships in college, but some won’t experience a long-term commitment until after college.  Some us grow up sooner than others.  Having someone to come home to at the end of the day is just one of the perks of being in love.

6.  Will you marry me?

The future…hard to believe it may not be that far away.  Some get married young, some wait until after their career is off the ground.  Hopefully you’ve learned from the mistakes in the past.  Some of you may marry high school or college sweethearts and you will have grown up together.  Some of you won’t meet the one you marry until you’ve gone through a couple of nasty break ups first.  Whatever the road to get there, know that marriage is a big step.  The statistics these days don’t look too promising.  A couple who has been married over 60 years told me once that the key to a life time of love with one person is having common courtesy and humility.  The ability to be polite and respectful as well as being able to admit when you’re wrong go a very long way in keeping love alive.

The evolution of love can be a rocky road.  Hopefully no matter how love has evolved in your life, you will be able to continue to grow in positive ways.  Whether you are already in a great relationship, in a bad relationship, or currently single, know that you can make your own road when it comes to love.  You can still wish for “Happily Ever After” if you remember that it actually takes a lot of work to make love grow and evolve over time.